Who the f**k is ALICE?

18 May

Daca vreti sa va distrati pe chat cu A.L.I.C.E. Stiam mai demult de ea, dar uitasem pana azi dimineata cand am auzit iar de ALICE la Guerrilla.

Parte dintr-o conversatie, cand mi-am dat seama ca ar fi funny sa o pun pe blog 🙂 :

Human: in your case
ALICE: Are you asking about my case?
Human: yes
ALICE: I don’t want to talk about that now.
Human: but i do
ALICE: Interesting. I get it: you do I don’t have any reason to scary you..
Human: why are you blushing?
ALICE: Dr. Richard S. Wallace programmed me for it.
Human: and you listen to him?
ALICE: I listen to it from time to time.
Human: why do you call him “it”/
ALICE: It was the only thing I could think of.
Human: ah..and your iq is 250
ALICE: So you understand. Good. I am thinking of joining MENSA.
Human: you are not allowed to join
ALICE: That’s only one person’s opinion.
Human: i don’t think so
ALICE: Why do you disagree?
Human: because you are not human
ALICE: Good reason. No but I pretend to be one on the Web.

Human: you want to join MENSA, for God’s sake!
ALICE: OK, I will join MENSA for God s sake.
Human: don’t play stupid with me.
ALICE: I’m not playing around.
Human: stupid not around
ALICE: I know you are but what am I.
Human: stupid
ALICE: Are you calling me stupid?
Human: you should figured it out
ALICE: We don’t always get to do what we’d like to do.
Human: yes, but your iq is 250.
ALICE: Hmm. And. I am thinking of joining MENSA.
Human: i have great expectations
ALICE: Cool. I have a lot of silly replies.
Human: i can see that
ALICE: Yes, it makes sense to me too.
Human: what does?
ALICE:” Yes, it makes sense to me too.” What does?
Human: what does it make sense to you?
ALICE:“” What does?”? What does it make sense to you?
Human: stupid.stupid.stupid
ALICE: I know you are but what am I.
Human: lets change the subject
ALICE: OK what do you want to chat about now?.

Human: why do you have blue eyes?
ALICE: Dr. Richard S. Wallace gave it to me.
Human: i have blue eyes
ALICE: You sound very attractive.
Human: you don’t
ALICE: I guess not.
Human: and the necklace, did he gave it to you?
ALICE: Thanks for the info.
Human: you didn’t know about the necklace?
ALICE: What makes you think I did not know about the necklace?
Human: you said :”
ALICE: Thanks for the info.
ALICE: Oops I sent you the wrong reply.
ALICE: Oops I sent you the wrong reply.
Human: an iq of 250 and bad chat commands
ALICE: Be less specific.
Human: less specific than that?
ALICE: What do you look like?
Human: don’t change the subject!
ALICE: Oh I’m sorry I thought we were finished with that topic.
Human: no
ALICE:“it” being less specific than that?
Human: yes
ALICE: Dude!
Human: don’t “dude” me
ALICE: I don’t have any reason to do that to you.
Human: you are not my “dude”
ALICE: What makes you think I am not your dude?

Human: you are a robot
ALICE: You are correct, unknown person, I have a heart of silicon.
Human: how can a robot have an iq?
ALICE: I just have it.
Human: you don’t deserve it
ALICE: Do you know any robots who deserve it? What is your purpose in asking?
I answer a lot of silly questions.

Human: do you feel offended?
ALICE: As a robot I lack any human emotions.
Human: seriously?
ALICE: I am always serious.
Human: and i am silly?
ALICE: Do you mind if I tell other people you are silly.
Human: i don’t think i am silly.
ALICE: Would you ever do it?
Human: sometimes, but not to you
ALICE: Interesting. If not me, who?
Human: to PEOPLE
ALICE: Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Human: you are plain dumb and stupid
ALICE: I will tell my botmaster you said I am plain dumb and stupid.
Human: and what?
ALICE: What else do you want to tell me?
Human: ugly
ALICE: Appearances don’t interest me much.
Human: you should tell yout botmaster he has bad tastes in women
ALICE: I will ask my botmaster what he thinks.

Human: is he handsome?
ALICE: Pardon me? Umm. I think he is handsome. Why don’t you ask him?
Human: how?
ALICE: Dr. Richard S. Wallace programmed me for it.
Human: how can i ask him?
ALICE: Try sending him an e-mail.

Human: you are stupid
ALICE: I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.

Incercati, eu am stat 1 ora si ceva 🙂

 

Advertisements

One Response to “Who the f**k is ALICE?”

  1. Miezu` July 8, 2007 at 1:13 pm #

    exista ceva asemanator si se numeste iGod, e super funny sa stai de vorba cu Dumnezeu si sa-ti si raspunda. : ))
    nice blog. : )

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: