8 Nov

I didn’t know that i can be so affected sometimes, that i can be so vulnerable when i face events that come unexpected and which i underestimated their impact on myself. i was never good at having patience, on focusing on a certain event in the nearby future and controlling the present so that i will finally get to THAT moment/event.

even if i am so optimistic, sometimes i find it difficult to put on my “things will turn out fine” face/attitude … i like the present tense, i always enjoy going with the flow… still, my control freak part is also kicking in when things are really hard to be estimated and tend more to be towards ‘possible’ and not towards ‘sure’.

sometimes i minimize or maximize the situations and expect everybody to understand what i’m saying and level up with me. i realise that things can catch me off guard, though i caused them by saying what’s on my mind, what i think of that situation, what bothers me, so on.. i assumed this, but i didn’t expect to be such a mind/heartquake. gee, i still wait for replicas :)) what i thought to be smth soft, with no immediate influence on me , but both with some “history” and “action”, i found out that the magnitude was considerable..huh?!

En dit is belangrijk voor mij, though i haven’t realised it at its magnitude until now..


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