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MY best of it.

1 Feb

I made a decision to temporary put myself on the first place. And adventure. And long forgotten hobbies (like photography). Not family, not bf, not work, not friends, not sports, not money, etc. This was easy, but what came out of this wasn’t, or isn’t to be more exact. When I first started to think about solo traveling in Thailand nobody took me for real, maybe they knew I was too tightened to life here and I was speaking gibberish. But face it, I don’t really have (for now) REAL responsibilities, except for my own happiness and how I manage that, through me and through others around me. I’m not blind, people around me have great impact on me and I have great impact on them, but too many times I was thinking about the consequences of this fact and made decisions under this influence. All I want now is to take some time, spend it with myself. I was asked some time ago which was my superpower. I thought that I needed time to figure this out, but I already knew what was it: just being myself and being able to let myself go in the same time. Sometimes I look like sleepwalking through my life and sometimes i am more sober and capable that i ever thought i could be. This situation is no exception.

People around me acted as if “it will pass”, “it’s just a phase she is going, she won’t really see it through”. But I did. I (tried) to explain my decision to people important to me, I talked to my boss, I bought plane tickets. Then, people RE-ACTED. Some reacted good, much better than I expected them to (parents, colleagues, boss-btw, thx a bunch, guys!), some re-acted bad and made me (not to rethink my leaving, as they would have wanted), but made me sad that they weren’t there for me, that I couldn’t share the excitement, that they couldn’t be glad for me and that they couldn’t see my decision as a sign of a REAL step in sobering myself.

Maybe it’s just me, but when you are in a relationship you don’t “breathe” only that relationship. You need to be able to breathe by and for yourself, as an individual, as a part of a whole, in order to be able to breathe inside the relationship. Why can’t we just be relaxed and feel at ease with the other’s way of being even if it is different than ours? Why can we accept that THIS brings people together much more than trying to sculpture the other as you want him to be..

I let myself once be influenced and the result was that I didn’t do what I felt like doing. Back then, I was thinking too much with my heart, ignoring what my guts and mind were saying.. I don’t really regret it in the mean way, but now, a couple of years later, I still think about that moment like of a lost train or bad inspiration and I wished then for myself that I wouldn’t do this again, that I will listen to my guts, heart and mind. IN THE SAME TIME, hopefully. Life doesn’t give us any guarantees, I realized that. we only take leaps of faith or make decisions that we must assume for ourselves. What ever this means. I have to always think ahead and live my life as I know best.

Even if I don’t leave now, this feeling won’t stop, I won’t be able to take some time for me and my staying here, now, isn’t/won’t be a guarantee of a future whatsoever anyway. I’m certain that in one way or another, my leaving like this will definitely mean a change for me of some sort. And for others impacted. I’m no fool. As I can change perspective, everybody can do the same. It will enrich me and I’ll definitely find more goods than bads in the end, and if less fortunate things happen, I’ll make sure that I’ll find the courage and power to congratulate myself because I went through this by making the best of it. MY best of it.

Please note that ..”Life begins at the end of your comfort zone” – Neale Donald Walsch

Photo source

selected pics from turkey

27 Oct

more to come

Pics for the nearly weds

24 Apr

when my friend Roxana told me at the end of last summer that she wanted me to do a pre-wedding photo shooting this spring, i was so damn proud and excited and took this thought into great consideration, i guess in order to be prepared in a way when the time came :)) not to mention that i tried to come up with some ideas for the outdoor shots (place, concept etc).

Anyway, this crappy weather that has been going on for the last few weeks (rain, cloudy, sunny, rain again…) let me with little choice, being determined that the first sunny day is ours to shoot, somewhere green and colorful ! so, that day was last Sunday.

Take a look at the excited nearly weds! me so happy that I’ve managed to surprise their happiness the first time I grabbed the camera for this kind of “special requested” shooting 🙂

Selection:

Selection from Switzerland #1

19 Apr

Finally, i’ve managed to find some time to select and post on my Deviantart gallery a couple of pics from the Switzerland holiday (Dec 09-January 2010). More to come soon, as the ice was broken now 🙂

Results: Luzern city, one of the most beautiful  and a great panorama from Sigriswil, looking like The Eye of Mordor from LOTR.

Gallery Switzerland #take 1 🙂

Deviantart gallery

Destination Portugal!

1 Sep

In sfarsit ma apuc un pic cate un pic si de review-ul despre Portugalia. Mai un rand azi, mai un later edit maine, usor usor o sa izbutesc! 🙂 E mult de povestit si aratat, o sa vedeti si o sa intelegeti atunci de ce mi-a luat atat de mult sa imi fac curaj.

Indulge yourself with some pics for now!

LA CEREREA DELIEI – mi-am facut cont si pe FLICKR unde am pus muuulte poze si mai am de pus. Poze din Portugalia pe Flickr AICI. Deocamdata sunt cam 100 de poze 🙂

M-am gandit: dupa ce o sa pun toate pozele, atunci scriu si review-ul, ca sa imi aduc aminte de tot pe parcurs. Am vazut atat de multeee si am facut tot atatea incat am si pierdut sirul…

Ancuta si Musonik 2

Ancuta si Musonik 2

Back from Portugal!

20 Aug

Back from Portugal that is! A fost ff frumos! plaje misto, casute faine, multe fructe si peste, am inotat pana n-am mai putut in larg si catre stanci si plaje salbatice, gen fragmente din Lagura Albastra si The Beach! suuuuuper!

In curand multe poze si un review!

Pana atunci va dau cam atat:

Portugalia in cifre:

23 orase

3000 km

1700 de poze ale mele + 500 Gabi

8 ore de zbor

etc, sa ma mai gandesc 🙂

iReadfaces by Cristian Radu

5 Aug

Vineri, inainte de a pleca la mare, am trecut cu Ruxandra (cu tupeu si curiozitate) pe la Cristian Radu. Cum am ajuns la el si de ce?

Eiii bine, acum ceva timp am inceput sa ma documentez pe net despre proiectele fotografilor romani, ce fac ei si ce as putea sa fac eu diferit. Spre suprinderea mea, nu sunt mult proiecte de acest gen si putine sunt cele care m-au atras si in care m-am regasit, sentimentul acela de invidie un pic ca ei mi-au luat-o inainte. 🙂 Dar asta este un compliment pentru ei, un semn enorm de apreciere 🙂 Normal ca mi-au luat-o inainte ca ei sunt profi si eu doar aspir sa-mi definesc un stil personal in fotografie.

Am citit despre proiectul lui Cristian Radu – iReadfaces si am decis sa il contactez sa ma bag si eu in seama. M-am gandit ca si mie mi-ar placea si m-ar implini (dupa ce se va auzi de proiectul meu) sa vina si la mine oameni doritori sa adere la proiectelul meu, oameni care sa creada si sa ma ajute sa devin mai buna in pasiunea mea si sa exprim emotii, sentimente, personalitati prin fotografiile mele.

Mai multe despre autor si proiect aici. Scopul proiectului este ca aceste portrete sa ajunga sa fie expuse intr-o galerie din care sa reiasa multitudinea  expresiilor si deschiderea oamenilor. Dorinta personala al lui Cristian este ca aceste portrete sa fie puse la avatarul la  Twitter, Facebook, etc.

Prietetenii imi spun ca nu ma caracterizeaza deloc fotografia. eu zambesc mereu, chiar si la poza mi-a fost greu sa nu am un mic suras in coltul gurii.

Imaginea parca e luata din Resident Evil sau e o poza facuta la IML. Imi place 🙂

Ma arata asa cum nu m-am vazut si cum nimeni nu m-a vazut niciodata. Complet eliberata, relaxata, serioasa si grava. Ineditul proiectului este chiar asta, cum reuseste sa scoata in evidenta simplitatea si in acelasi timp expresivitatea fiecarui chip fotografiat. Parca exact in momentul ala te transpui in altcineva fata de cum te cunosti tu si fata de cum te cunosc toti ceilalti.

Am o expresie aspra si grava, asa cum nu prea ma suprind eu de obicei. Nici trista nu sunt asa, gasesc mereu o modalitate de a disimula si de a fi optimista.

Intr-adevar, sunt poze greu de digerat, lipsa de culoare iti induce lipsa de viata, dar in fapt te arata mai “vie” ca niciodata, iti permite sa te uiti prin ochii subiectului si sa vezi mai..departe, o luminita aparte in ochi care iese o data ce ai dat la o parte culoarea, zambetul si imaginea de zi cu zi.

so, go on – Read my face … 🙂

Simona by Cristian Radu

Simona by Cristian Radu

Ruxandra by Cristian Radu

Ruxandra by Cristian Radu