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..Romania doesn’t even have such a high rate of criminality. but has a high rate of negativism

21 Oct

I’ve always told myself that i wouldn’t talk about Romanians, i should refrain from this discussion. About Romania yes, but about Romanians – no, words written don’t explore the whole idea of being a Romanian and i think that foreigners don’t understand us completely and they only pick up some cliches. Even me, when i’m asked about my people i don’t know exactly if i should give the official statement (hospitality, simple people..) or try to explain and maybe even justify some facts. when i’m asked to talk about Romanians i surprise myself with using very strong words, very decisive and explicit, like an attorney in court, who says his final pleading.

I think that (from the countries that I’ve visited and many people of different nationalities that I’ve talked to) Romanians are among the most difficult nationality to discover, to understand and explain.  And i’m not referring to culture or education facts, i’m talking about character, fears, strengths, mentality and communist inheritance and the experiences lived for more than 20 years now that changed us and influenced our future selves.

So, i guess that before stupid logos, tv commercials, cheap outdoors, ordinary slogans, expensive and controversial campaigns for Romania, a national brand should be created and promoted by its people, citizens and we first have to decide how we think about us, take a moment and reflect on how we would describe ourselves.

Is it hospitality that defines us? Yeah ..right. where is this hospitality, cause it’s a concept so old and rooted that it has almost lost it’s value and significance somewhere along the way!? I guess we don’t mean couchsurfing or other ways to accommodate tourists or when we have opportunities to accept guests. Maybe we see this hospitality in the countryside, at simple and humble people. But in urban areas, i don’t see this as a trademark, even if my team an I conducted an entire campaign strategy based on Romanian hospitality (funny one though, much exaggerated) at Communication Olympics  to stimulate tourists in Scandinavia to come to Romania . Maybe i will later edit here. but it was under the laws of advertising..a sort of poetical license. 🙂

friendly – yeah right here also. cause we always shake hands or what? i read a study somewhere that says Americans are shocked when they come to Romania and see that we shake hands for almost any reason. We are friendly only when we want. we first are judgemental and then friendly, only if the other person suits our expectations. We are not used to take a person as he is and learn something from every experience, not all of us at least. I see this only happening among the young generation, that has encountered many types of characters while traveling abroad. But most Romanians still think in stereotypes and are under the influence of communist inheritance.

beautiful girls, cheap booze, great clubbing – got that right. :)) or maybe is the cheap booze that influences the other two ?:))) sarcasm noted here

hard working – hard working or hardly working?! hard working is a concept related and used together with the hospitality issue in general. maybe we are hard workers, putting in more sweat than inspiration in finding and cultivating favorable contexts. I also think that Romanians are very flexible and adaptable to every situation.

communist inheritance and the experience of 20 years consumer society – from many bad heritages (from behavior point of view) inherited i want to talk about fear and distrust. We fund ourselves raised (as a nation) to always look around us, always second guess  others, always having a kind of inferior attitude or building an overprotective shield. I always surprise myself looking at people getting in the public transport in order to catch their distrustful and query eyes looking for any sign of territorial interruption from behalf of others around them. they keep their purses close and tight in front of themselves. Take the daily example of me: i’m always looking around when i step off the car, open the trunk or smth, always with the fear that somebody might see what’s inside and smash my car afterwords. This ..situation really happened to a close friend a couple of weeks ago in the overrated – Historical Center of Bucharest. That’s sick! i kept in mind that this could happen, but i didn’t take it for serious consideration actually..until really happened.

What is normal for us (to be careful that something bad could happen) is very abnormal to foreigners that don’t even take into consideration this probability. Two years ago in Switzerland there was a store with all kinds of holiday decorations for outdoors. The store was closed, but boxes with decorations sticking out were kept outside, during the night. for many nights.

And nobody was stressed out cause of that, nothing was stolen and i was wow-ed by “their normality”. cause in “my normality” the boxes outside (even locked) weren’t to be left outside from the very beginning… and that’s only an example. there are many like this. i am completely mystified by the gap in attitude, the difference positive thinking and lack of negative experience are doing!!

not to mention that Romania doesn’t even have such a high rate of criminality. but has a high rate of negativism, misdirected protection and baggage of experiences that spoke for themselves and speak even now.

Photo credits


Earlier New Year’s resolutions

23 Nov

last night, in the middle of the bed, while watching Flash Fw and eating baked apples with cinnamon and honey bumm – something got me thinking..

now that i’ve created the atmosphere, i should cut to the chase -> i realized that i should do smth different, change and reinvent myself, be more oriented towards future (not only living and thinking so much in the present tense).

So, the objectives should be the starting point in planning. eh, professional flaw maybe.

And yes –  my New Year’s resolutions came earlier !?! :)))

like we are doing the budget for 2010 now, i’m figuring out what i want from 2010, what should be my investment and what are the outcomes on “all” levels: professional, personal and academic.

I realized that i need to be done with living so much in the present, it’s great but in the long run maybe this way of thinking won’t pay up as i expected. just maybe. i should think more of what i want and need to do in order to get where/what i want.

this is high time that i should make my own commitments and figure out what i really want. i am satisfied with me right now, but if i think of a certain point in the nearby future, this “me” now maybe be not enough.

so, i’ve thought of prioritizing, about the “specific objectives” that help me achieve the general ones and allow to focus and stay focus on what is/ SHOULD be most important to me from the time being and for nearby future.


8 Nov

I didn’t know that i can be so affected sometimes, that i can be so vulnerable when i face events that come unexpected and which i underestimated their impact on myself. i was never good at having patience, on focusing on a certain event in the nearby future and controlling the present so that i will finally get to THAT moment/event.

even if i am so optimistic, sometimes i find it difficult to put on my “things will turn out fine” face/attitude … i like the present tense, i always enjoy going with the flow… still, my control freak part is also kicking in when things are really hard to be estimated and tend more to be towards ‘possible’ and not towards ‘sure’.

sometimes i minimize or maximize the situations and expect everybody to understand what i’m saying and level up with me. i realise that things can catch me off guard, though i caused them by saying what’s on my mind, what i think of that situation, what bothers me, so on.. i assumed this, but i didn’t expect to be such a mind/heartquake. gee, i still wait for replicas :)) what i thought to be smth soft, with no immediate influence on me , but both with some “history” and “action”, i found out that the magnitude was considerable..huh?!

En dit is belangrijk voor mij, though i haven’t realised it at its magnitude until now..

And I was thinking to myself this could be heaven or this could be hell…

7 Oct

Many times I wondered if I’m better off leaving .ro. Don’t know exactly why, just because.
Every time seems to be another reason (mentalities are different and free, people are having fun without any prejudice, know the world, escape the reality from here, run away from responsibility as I understand it here, live my youth more uninhibited, be capable on my own, get into contact with people from all around the world, face another challenge, just be with myself, try to accomplish smth somewhere else bla bla).

It’s not that I don’t have a great life here, that I don’t manage with money, or that t don’t have anything left here or despise smth. Always, but always, when I go on holidays i have the feeling that I’m better suited to live somewhere else but in Romania no. You might say that holidays are holidays and the time is spent is relaxing, etc.

The idea of holiday is more “easy” and you get to know people more shallow and superficially, always kind, funny and the situation changes if you know them better and live amongst them, in good or bad times (God, NOT referring to the marriage stuff). Everyone is different and if you accept that, I think you are ready to live anywhere else.
It’s true that if I leave I’ll miss my family and friends really badly, but if you are certain that this is for you, you’ll try to make the best of it, your family and friends supporting on the side.

My “problem” is that I feel like I’m better off shifting my life as I know it till now (I’ve made the best from my life: family, funsies, friends, adventure, trips, work..) and try to go as I please, to earn life experience, be independent and spontaneous.

Even if I am convinced that I’m not missing smth really now, but I still need to find THAT smth else “out there”. I miss the control over my life I think. Still…“this could be heaven, this could be hell”…
Romanians judge the people all around them, relationships and connections they have are not important. We judge from how others are dressed, where they work, how much they earn, who they are with, what their friends are, what clubs they frequent to the extend of what they do, how they act. Everyone is under intense scrutiny and judgment. If we don’t act and be as they expect us to be, preconception and labeling soon follow.

I have to admit that I feel determined but I’m aware that this decision requires a lot of thinking and I made an exercise: why would I be afraid of going? I realized that I’ve some “points” to clear out for myself and check them out,…like:

– What if I get distant to the persons that really matter for me and who are here. Not talking about Twitter, Facebook, the blog and so on.. I mean the real interaction and support when I’m down, when I miss my family, friends, all the nice stuff (hanging out, family dinners, etc..);
– Afraid of not taking the right decision to be on my own in a foreign country
– Afraid that this decision could be based more on some other reasons like stubbornness and running away than rational thinking;

– What if I don’t manage to get on own there. Maybe I’m unlucky, maybe all will be very competitive, maybe I don’t find the things I need. It’s not like I’m under the impression that everything will be honey there..but still;

– Afraid of change. All the day-to-day stuff that I know now, will change;
– Afraid of starting over in some way. With a master, internship probably and then job hunting if I want to stay some more …

(to be continued I think..)

iReadfaces by Cristian Radu

5 Aug

Vineri, inainte de a pleca la mare, am trecut cu Ruxandra (cu tupeu si curiozitate) pe la Cristian Radu. Cum am ajuns la el si de ce?

Eiii bine, acum ceva timp am inceput sa ma documentez pe net despre proiectele fotografilor romani, ce fac ei si ce as putea sa fac eu diferit. Spre suprinderea mea, nu sunt mult proiecte de acest gen si putine sunt cele care m-au atras si in care m-am regasit, sentimentul acela de invidie un pic ca ei mi-au luat-o inainte. 🙂 Dar asta este un compliment pentru ei, un semn enorm de apreciere 🙂 Normal ca mi-au luat-o inainte ca ei sunt profi si eu doar aspir sa-mi definesc un stil personal in fotografie.

Am citit despre proiectul lui Cristian Radu – iReadfaces si am decis sa il contactez sa ma bag si eu in seama. M-am gandit ca si mie mi-ar placea si m-ar implini (dupa ce se va auzi de proiectul meu) sa vina si la mine oameni doritori sa adere la proiectelul meu, oameni care sa creada si sa ma ajute sa devin mai buna in pasiunea mea si sa exprim emotii, sentimente, personalitati prin fotografiile mele.

Mai multe despre autor si proiect aici. Scopul proiectului este ca aceste portrete sa ajunga sa fie expuse intr-o galerie din care sa reiasa multitudinea  expresiilor si deschiderea oamenilor. Dorinta personala al lui Cristian este ca aceste portrete sa fie puse la avatarul la  Twitter, Facebook, etc.

Prietetenii imi spun ca nu ma caracterizeaza deloc fotografia. eu zambesc mereu, chiar si la poza mi-a fost greu sa nu am un mic suras in coltul gurii.

Imaginea parca e luata din Resident Evil sau e o poza facuta la IML. Imi place 🙂

Ma arata asa cum nu m-am vazut si cum nimeni nu m-a vazut niciodata. Complet eliberata, relaxata, serioasa si grava. Ineditul proiectului este chiar asta, cum reuseste sa scoata in evidenta simplitatea si in acelasi timp expresivitatea fiecarui chip fotografiat. Parca exact in momentul ala te transpui in altcineva fata de cum te cunosti tu si fata de cum te cunosc toti ceilalti.

Am o expresie aspra si grava, asa cum nu prea ma suprind eu de obicei. Nici trista nu sunt asa, gasesc mereu o modalitate de a disimula si de a fi optimista.

Intr-adevar, sunt poze greu de digerat, lipsa de culoare iti induce lipsa de viata, dar in fapt te arata mai “vie” ca niciodata, iti permite sa te uiti prin ochii subiectului si sa vezi mai..departe, o luminita aparte in ochi care iese o data ce ai dat la o parte culoarea, zambetul si imaginea de zi cu zi.

so, go on – Read my face … 🙂

Simona by Cristian Radu

Simona by Cristian Radu

Ruxandra by Cristian Radu

Ruxandra by Cristian Radu

roz, negru sau gri. sau nevermind

28 Apr

De multe ori m-am intrebat cum as fi fost acum daca as fi facut (la un moment dat) alte alegeri. Nu regret nimic din cum si din ce s-a intamplat, dar de multe ori mi-a trecut asa un posibil fir epic prin minte, un scenariu din miile posibile oricum.

Daca il vedeam mai roz, ma gandeam ca nu, oricum nu se intampla asa. Daca il vedeam prea negru, las’ ca-s bine acum. Daca il vedeam gri, tot las’ ca-s bine acum. Ciudat cum incercam sa ne dovedim noua ca am facut cele mai bune alegeri. Nu ne mintim, ci pur si simplu nu luam in calcul ca alte variante ar fi fost mai bune si ca am gresit si izgonim imediat acele ganduri. Nu e vorba de regret, e vorba de asumare constienta sau inconstienta a unor decizii.
Consider ca am facut alegerile care, la momentele t0,t1, tn…mi-au adus cele mai multe beneficii (mai bine satisfactii, ca parca beneficii suna prea concret) si pentru care eram pregatita.

In general, alegerile pe care le facem in viata depind de noi, altele le fac altii pentru noi, devenind alegerile lor, apoi noi alegem si tot asa. Un lung sir de alegeri: bune, proaste, roz/gri/negre sunt alegeri. Cred ca nicio alegere nu poate fi buna sau proasta ATUNCI, ci doar evaluata ULTERIOR, cand putem invata ceva. Nu inseamna regret, inseamna concluzionare.

Cele mai multe alegeri depind de noi, de ce ne dorim atunci pe moment, ce ne dorim pe viitor, de dorintele pe care ni le punem la ziua noastra cand suflam in lumanari sau de rezolutiile stabilite in seara de Revelion, sau pur si simplu: de conjunctura in care ne aflam. Nu tine de aliniamentul stelelor, nici de horoscopul zodiei pe anul ala, nici de caluti rosii feng shui. Nu de elemente externe noua la care incercam sa ne adaptam si de la care incercam sa gasim un raspuns sau o solutie pentru alegerile unora sau ale noastre.

In cazul unor alegeri mai putin fericite, ca sa nu zic proaste (sunt o optimista convinsa, nicio alegere nu e neaparat proasta sau rea, ci perfectibila 🙂 ) si daca rezultatele nu sunt cele asteptate de noi atunci cand am luat o alegere, inseamna ca nu am gandit-o pana la capat, ca am gresit si trebuie sa facem o alegere noua (cand ne-am dat seama de consecintele altei alegeri).

Nu exista scenarii prestabilite care sa ne consoleze. Eu chiar sunt de parere ca norocul ti-l faci singur, asa cum si alegerile tin de tine si nu treb gandite prestabilit, ca retetele universale nu functioneaza. Dupa principiul think global, act local 🙂 .

Viata e produsul alegerilor noastre, nu un destin scris in stele, in palma, etc. Desi e la prima mana e normal sa crezi asa, mai ales ca poti sa atribui incepand cu faptul ca te-ai nascut in Romania, ca parintii au sau nu bani, sa atribui tot destinului. E usor si tu nu ai nevoie de batai de cap.

Alegerile noastre sunt ceea ce ne definesc. Si in lume, dar mai ales, in fata noastra. Daca eu aleg asta, pai ASTA imi asum si stiu ca ASTA va spune ceva despre mine. Atunci sau dupa. De multe ori, mai intai trebuie sa fim noi pregatiti pentru alegerile noastre si apoi altii. Daca noi nu le intelegem si le luam in virtutea inertiei, apoi nici altii nu le vor intelege si vom ajunge ca alegerile sa nu zica NIMIC despre noi sau sa zica TOTUL.

Am gandit, am scris si am ales sa fie un post cliseistic si heirupist 🙂

simplu vs complicat

20 Apr

Cum am spus si in postul trecut, lumea e facuta din oameni simpli si complicati. Cei simplii prefera suprafata, cand tot ceea ce se poate imparti se imparte in alb si negru, iar ceea ce e profund, e ignorat si trecut in plan secund. Doar din dorinta de a gandi ne-complicat, de a te ascunde, de a nu-ti complica viata, de a nu lupta si de a gandi totul la prima mana. Cei simplii traiesc in imediat, intr-o hotarare si nehotarare permanenta, toate luate pe moment, in virtutea evenimentelor imediate la care iau parte si pe care le provoaca ca asa li se pare lor ca trebuie sa fie cursul evenimentelor. Sunt egoisti si traiesc in acest imediat, pana cand imediatul le rade in fata, iar clipa ii copleseste si tot ceea ce era alb sau negru nu mai poate fi demarcat clar.

Complicatii sunt cei analitici, care, mai mult decat oricand, doresc a da un sens fiecarui gest, de a interpreta si de a trece si a privi mai departe de aparente si ganduri la prima mana. Complicatii nu fug, iau lumea in piept si isi asuma responsabilitatea pentru ca a trai viata inseamna tocmai a-i tine piept si nu a abandona barca  atunci cand ti se pare ca ia un pic de apa. Si chiar daca ia apa, cauti mereu vesta de salvare intai, inainte de a sari in mijlocul oceanului. Oceanul pare la inceput cea mai buna solutie de scapare, de rezolvare a tututor problemelor, dar soarele arde si mai tare cand esti in apa, iar cineva nu poate inota prea mult fara vesta de salvare. Intotdeauna complicatii isi dezvolta potentialul, indiferent de circumstante, pentru ca stiu sa lupte si sa traiasca atat momentul, cat si ceea ce va veni dupa. Sunt educati in a stii ceea ce isi doresc si de a imprima vietii un anumit ritm, care bate din ce in ce mai tare, crescent, chiar daca la inceput abia se aude.

Simplii, prin comportamentul lor, sunt in stare sa strice tot. Nu se gandesc la consecinte, nu se gandesc la ei si la altii intr-un ALT moment decat atunci, iar deciziile vin si sunt luate in valtoarea evenimentelor. Se actioneaza la suprafata pentru ca la suprafata isi cauta justificarea actiunilor. Suprafata le confirma deciziile, ceea ce vor sa auda. Iar daca cineva vrea sa isi confirme ceva, atunci cu siguranta isi va confirma, va actiona in virtutea demonstrarii, nu in virtutea gasirii contrariului care ii deranjeaza si le destabilizeaza imediatul in care traiesc.

Cel putin pentru moment, vor cauta confirmarile la tot pasul, egoismul certificat in care trebuie sa isi demonstreze ca au procedat bine, pana cand realitatea vine peste ei si ii ia pe nepregatite, tocmai acel imediat in care se simteau foarte bine ii surprinde si atunci se gandesc ca ceea ce e la prima mana, nu e mereu valabil, nu este o reteta a fericirii si a ceea ce conteaza in final. Ritmul selor simpli e diferit, este un bum initial, apoi bum-ul se estompeaza, iar imediatul se obisnuieste cu ritmul si nu mai poate fi auzit.

Simplii nu comunica, iar cu cat se simt mai apropiati de cineva, cu cat le este mai greu sa comunice, pentru ca le este frica de interactiune, interactiunea inseamna instabilitate pentru ei, frica ca deciziile sunt destabilizate, ca vor fi influentati si ca CEVA-ul, pentru ei atat de simplu, brusc nu ar mai fi simplu si lor le-ar fi din ce in ce mai greu sa isi demonstreze ca procedeaza bine. Nu au nevoie de cineva care sa le infirme imediatul de care acum cred ca au atata nevoie.