Tag Archives: changes

life in beta version

8 Jun

These days I set myself a new goal: to simplify my life. From the beginning of this year everything was going crazy and stuff just piled up and i found myself surrounded by all sorts of “clutter”. The pressure was high and still is. Every decision i have to take is consuming me as i try to take things seriously, especially those affecting my future, trying to come up with solutions to please all or at least many.

Sometimes i take a decision and try to stick on it, sometimes i second guess me.I think 2011 was (so far anyway) the year of choices for me. from little things that “just happened” to big decisions involving also people around me, people who care deeply about me and who i don’t wish to hurt whatsoever. but are hurt as the situations flow ahead, without my control.

I have to learn to see what is important to me and what makes me better and discover the “forward path”, without taking or considering even the sideway exits.

It’s a kind of  “voluntary simplicity” or a “focused simplicity” morelike. Life will always be crazy and hard, but i need to keep my mind set and unslipperish, need my concentration to be at the highest level in order to obtain more from a “focused” me.

Maybe i don’t even have the concept of “keep it simple” and i am made for this insane rhythm, this is what boosts my energy. But i am tired and i wish that things could be simpler, no more cloudless or haze. I enjoy my life to the fullest, taking what’s best from it, but i realize that all this maze of decisions isn’t good for anybody and i end up more surprised of me than others, not enjoying so much the whole life thing as i thought, cause my life is a constant drama which i enjoy like a masochist (figure of speech, doh! 🙂 )

It’s high time to reconsider and to keep an open and clearer mind set and try to leave behind the constant stress and chaos of decision-making. It’s hard and i’ll definitely miss “my complications” in a life that is now so packed to the hilt .

What i’m saying is that i want to get rid of this general feeling of uneasiness, ME supporting my decisions and use this new-released energy to tackle one provocation at a time, be aware of what solid is, by letting aside the critical situations which i needed so much..try to stop shuffling.